In a move that has stunned players, delighted fans, and completely melted Hockey Twitter, the NHL announced today a radical rule change that will shake the very foundation of the sport: beginning with the 2025-26 season, all minor penalties will be settled via a best-of-three rock-paper-scissors duel at center ice.
The new rule, dubbed the “Hand Game Resolution Protocol” (HGRP) by league officials, aims to cut down on stoppages and “inject a dose of creativity and chaos” into a sport often criticized for its traditionalism.
“We want hockey to feel fresh, modern, and unpredictable,” said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman at a press conference held at Rockefeller Plaza. “What better way to resolve disputes than with a timeless, honorable contest of hand gestures?”
How It Works
According to the official NHL memo sent to teams:
When a player is called for a minor penalty, both he and a representative from the opposing team must skate to center ice.
A league official will oversee a best-of-three rock-paper-scissors match, with players required to shoot on the third count.
The winner determines the outcome:
If the penalized player wins, the penalty is wiped clean.
If the opposing player wins, the power play proceeds as usual.
In the event of a tie, a “sudden death” thumb war will be initiated.
“It’s all about pace of play,” said NHL VP of Game Development Sandra Lin. “And memes. Mostly memes.”
Mixed Reactions From Around the League
While some players are embracing the change, others are… less enthusiastic.
“This is what happens when you let interns run the league,” said Bruins coach Jim Montgomery, visibly exhausted. “We spent all season working on our penalty kill. I guess now I’ve got to hire a hand coach.”
Montgomery confirmed Boston has already reached out to local rock-paper-scissors champion Jimmy “Two-Fist” DelVecchio of Southie to join the staff.
Toronto Maple Leafs star Auston Matthews took a different approach. “I’ve been studying hand psychology for months,” he said with a smirk. “You can read a guy’s soul through his knuckles.”
Matthews’ teammate Mitch Marner is less sure. “I panic under pressure. I once threw paper three times in a row because I couldn’t remember how to make scissors.”
Goalies Form Union to Protest “Hand Game Era”
A group of NHL goaltenders released a joint statement denouncing the rule, arguing that the new system does not apply to goalie interference calls and is thus “deeply unjust.”
“If skaters get rock-paper-scissors, we want Uno cards,” said Islanders goalie Ilya Sorokin. “Also, we’re demanding a Go Fish overtime format.”
Sources say a group of Eastern Conference goaltenders is planning a ceremonial walkout during preseason, where they will line up at center ice and throw only “rock” in silent protest.
Fan Reaction: “This Is the Greatest Thing Ever”
The NHL’s social media accounts exploded minutes after the announcement. Within an hour, #HandGameHockey was trending No. 1 in Canada and No. 3 worldwide, just behind #RobotChefWars and #DrakeDeletedTwitterAgain.
On Reddit, fans launched a 400-comment thread predicting every NHL team’s “hand meta.” A top comment reads:
> “The Flyers are definitely a scissors-heavy team. Meanwhile, the Oilers are all paper—no grit, all flow.”
At bars across North America, fans debated strategy. “You gotta go rock in Game 1 to assert dominance,” said one Rangers fan in Manhattan. “Then switch to paper when they least expect it. That’s how dynasties are built.”
Sportsbooks Already Offering Odds
Las Vegas sportsbooks wasted no time jumping into the madness. DraftKings now offers live odds on which players will win the most rock-paper matches, with Bruins agitator Brad Marchand the current favorite at +200, despite concerns he might lick his opponent’s hand mid-match.
FanDuel has launched a “Throw of the Night” prop bet, with insider tips already circulating about players’ hand patterns.
Could More Changes Be Coming?
Insiders say the NHL is also considering a “Dodgeball Shootout” format for games that remain tied after overtime, where players must eliminate each other one by one using soft pucks.
When asked if these changes are a sign of hockey losing its integrity, Bettman replied, “Look, integrity is great—but so is virality. And frankly, if we get one 30-second TikTok of Connor McDavid hesitating between rock and paper, it’s worth it.”
Final Thoughts
Love it or hate it, the NHL’s hand game era is coming. Coaches are scrambling. Players are practicing. And fans are already planning Halloween costumes based on their team’s signature throw.
The puck may still drop, but now the real game begins with hands.