There’s so much stress in this world right now, so much unhappiness, so once in a while, you need to unwind.
A good dose of laughter is, they say, really therapeutic, so we put together 200 of the funniest short Naija jokes that will crack you up. Enjoy!
Short Naija Jokes
1. That moment after doing the do and she says, “should I wear my pant or should I wait,” my brother just know she’s asking for a second-round 😂
2. Invest two goats and get three cows in 40 seconds.
No, be onli una Sabi craze. Mtcheew 😒
3. It is not always the Tailor’s fault.
My sister, na you no get the same shape as the lady in the catalog 😂😂😂
4. You can’t date a guy who lives with his parents, but you can date a guy who lives with his wife. Heaven is far from you, my sister 😂😂
5. I have a CERTIFICATE in, a DIPLOMA in caring, a DEGREE in loving, a MASTERS in petting, and a Ph.D. Any vacancy? 😂
6. Just a reminder to all married people: If you promised your wife/husband that you would love her/him 24 hours a day, start now 😂 😂
7.No one is as humble as a man who asks for a lady’s phone number in public. He’ll sound low, like a new generator. If you know, you know 😂😂
8. Nigerian girls are like NEPA…
When they start giving you the green light, just know the bill is coming.
9. Some girls get wahala oo. Why would you go out and have only to get pregnant and exclaim, “Oh God, this can’t be me!”
Who do you want it to be, my sister? Me?
10. Buying flowers for your Village girlfriend is not a problem. The problem is when you get a text from her the next day that says, “boo, the vegetables you bought me tasted somehow” Na wa oooooo and village girls 😂😂
11. Abeg, which part of Nigeria is my fatherland? I’m broke and want to sell my own portion 🤷😂
12. She asks you for money, and you complain that she loves money; she decides not to ask you again, and you tell her she has another boyfriend.
What exactly is your problem, my brother 😒😒
13. Please take a moment to thank and appreciate those guys who dated you in high school. They loved you without makeup, Brazilian hair, with short hair, oversized uniform, ugly school bag, and rubber sandals.
“That was true love.”
14. When you want to pull away or withdraw, she holds you tight
My brother just whispered into her ear; you will raise this child alone
15 Some visitors mind shaaa, they serve you food you tell them to help you change the meat. Oga, you well so 😂😂
16. One of the benefits of being a beautiful girl is that you will buy something and pay with your phone number. Slay queens can relate 😂
17.My brother hustle ooo, make them no hold your hand for Club dey tell Bouncers e dey with me 🌚
18. The good thing about a one-room apartment is that you can see all of your properties when you wake up.
19. Nothing wey sweet like to separate two ladies wey dey fight. If you’re a man, you’re in luck because you can touch any part of their body 😋😋
20. Just tell us you want us to break up…
Which one is “Unlock your phone, I want to check something.” Do you want me to die ehh Amaka 😒😒
21. Why don’t ladies’ phones ring after spending the night with you?
I don’t get it 🤔
22. What are the signs of a failing relationship?
1. Deafness: I didn’t hear the phone ring.
2. Blindness: I didn’t notice your missed calls
3. Busy: when you called, I was frying stone.
4. I can’t find you anywhere: Can we meet? Oh, I’m going to the moon with my mother.
5. Online but not chatting: I’m just checking my data to see if the sun is shining. Welcome oo 😅
23. The issue with ugly people is that they always blame the camera 😂😅
24. Wife no scarce, na you dey find Mary Slessor with a touch of cardi B 🤷🤷
25. You see someone with a good house and a good car. You are shouting vanity. Oh, so nobody has reminded you that poverty is also vanity.
25. BOOM!!! I had an interview yesterday. Satan’s daughter, my ex, asked me to mention 7 Indian Biscuits 🤦
26. Can the Last Born Marry a Last Born? What if they wake up in the middle of the night and start crying? I want to see my mother? 🤷😂
27. The Akwa Ibom State Police Command released 350 dogs on the streets to enforce the lockdown. Na six remain now 😂😂
28. Jesus didn’t have female disciples, maybe he called them, and they didn’t have transport fare 😅😅😅
29. Finally, I’ve learned how to toast a lady! Baby, as soon as I set my eyes on you, my slippers cut 🏃🏃
30. Ladies, don’t be afraid to ask your ex for airtime; it’s a part of your retirement package nau Abi 😂🤷
31. Okay, ladies, it’s not always because you’re attractive that a guy is staring at you. Maybe your makeup doesn’t match your neck 🌚
32. Stop boiling bath water with a cooking pot; one man in the bank today was smelling egusi soup. Tuehh 🌚
33. Respect the woman that cooks your meals. Poison no cost 🤷
34. So, if I marry now and snake enters our compound, my wife will tell the children to find their father. Hey Gawd, me wey no get sense 🙆
35. Who said that English is easy?
Fill this blank with “YES” or “NO.”
1. ______ I am not a Virgin.
2. ______ I don’t have Sense.
3. ______ I am a Cheat.
4. ______ I am Stupid
I’m at my house
Come and beat me 🏃🏃
36. Girls are funny; they can bear the pain of piercing their ears, nose, and navel, among other things. But they scream when you try to put John Thomas inside, something that is not even sharp 😒😒
37. In Nigeria, we condemn thieves but like buying stolen products. Hypocrites everywhere 😒😒
38. You buy data bundles every week you’ve been using the same toothbrush since “2019,” my friend, you should be arrested 🤦
39. That moment during exams when the teacher asks you to sit in the front, you look back and see your friends cheating peacefully 😑😑😂
40. Guys, do you remember that moment in the exam room when you looked at your friend, and he was looking at you too? Madd 😂😂
41. There are two reasons why I won’t let my girlfriend drive my Range Rover: (1) I don’t have a girlfriend; (2) I don’t have a Range Rover 😆😆
42. Remove the four fingers at the back of your phone and see magic 🏃🏃
43. Man-made car, man-made plane, and man-made ship, what has this other gender made 🤷
44. Women are like roads; the more curves they have, the more dangerous they are 😂
45. My friend, don’t be afraid or ashamed when they tell you, “You’re ugly,” just tell them you serve a living God 😁
46. He has a small head
LADIES, once a dude come in between your legs, keep quiet and move on. No dey cap nonsense 😤😂
47. Tall girls standing and pressing phones at night look like street lights. This is not my handwriting, oo 🏃🏃
48. To survive in Aba and Onitsha, you must think like a sharp guy and treat everyone as a suspect coz omo 😂😅.
49. Dating someone who is committed and can make you laugh is a blessing. Who agrees with me 😁
50. Don’t worry if time does not wait for you. Simply remove the battery from the clock and live your life. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
51. If Adam had time for Eve, devil for no see chance turn bestie 🤷🤷 Men, spend time with your woman 🌚
52. Which of these is manageable: marrying a stingy man or marrying a womanizer? Oya, our ladies come and answer oo 😅
53. Having strict parents is hard. Imagine rehearsing how to ask for permission. Hmmm 😂
54. My two girlfriends are cheating on me, but I have never cheated on them. What should I do now? 😌😂
55. Thieves broke into someone’s house and searched it but found nothing. They began flogging the man in anger, telling him he should work harder. 😭😭 Make una find me work oooo because if those thieves break into my house, they will kill me walai 😂
56. Wahala! A 16-year-old boy beat up the pastor for touching his girlfriend’s backside during deliverance. Who knows, maybe that’s where the demon was 🤷
57. Problem everywhere! My neighbour recently bought a used Samsung Galaxy phone and found nude photos of his girlfriend on it. Na wetin you say problem be like again? 😂😂
58. VIO Arrest NEPA Vehicle For Expired Papers. As Them Reach VIO Office, NEPA Discover Illegal Connection 🙆🤔 Dem dey play to involve the police for the matter ooo
59. Whenever I go to buy food from this woman, her daughter always puts two or three pieces of meat even when I only paid for one. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? 🤔😂😂
60. There is a woman behind every successful man. Do you know why? Because women don’t follow unsuccessful men. Sense no go kill me 😂
61. The firstborn are calm and intelligent, the second born is stubborn and talented, the third born are quiet and cunning, and the last born are the terrorists of the house and society 🤸🤸.
63. A wise man only licks his plate when he knows he is eating alone. Do you understand, or should I go deeper?
64. Please support me; I repair broken relationships, heal heartbreak, and sell boyfriends and girlfriends. Swapping is also possible 😜😜.
65. During a wedding ceremony today, a man asked me if the body had arrived 😮😮
66. No matter how sick, depressed, or heartbroken a Lady is, she will never give out an incorrect account number 😂
67.Some men will leave the woman they love because they think there are much fish in the river, only to catch crayfish. They’ll catch electric fish one day and shock them to death 😂😂
68. Small quarrel and this girl wants to break up with me, in which relationship? The one I suffered for three months to toast you? Never😅😅
69. In my country, if you dodge your mother’s slap, you have joined cult…😂😂
70. I’ll be there soon baby. This Alone can Motivate Some Guys To Sweep The Entire Community. If you know, you know 😂
71. Today, my crush called me a big head, and I was about to get excited until I remembered that my head is actually big and soft like a pillow. 😞😞😞
72. Seriously, eeeh, if not for autocorrect, some people don’t know correct spellings. Some will guess and guess until they see it on word suggestions. Lol 😂
73. I thought money was the only thing that could change people until I went to a wedding yesterday and ordinary Jollof rice made someone act as if she didn’t know me. 😅😅😅
74. No one is as patient and careful as someone who wants to light a match that has only one matchstick left, and it’s night. 🤣🤣🤣
75. Every school has that annoying security guard who acts as the principal 😂
76. Actors and actresses kiss each other in their movies for ten seasons and never fall in love. But this girl just “LIKE” your photo, and you’ve been thinking about it for days! BROTHER! Receive sense in Jesus’ name 😂😂
77. Hehehe, Have you noticed this at church weddings? Attendance at the wedding: 31
At the reception 4500.
I’ll just share my food at church 😂
78. If you really think English is easy, then fill these blank spaces with “yes” or “no”:
______ I don’t have a brain
______ I don’t have sense
______ I am stupid
79. Abeg, no lie. What would you do if you were Jonah and the big fish swallowed you from the United States and vomits you at Osun State?
80. It hurts so much to see people walk out of my life… I want them to run out 🏃🏃
81. If they bring the Covid-19 vaccine to Nigeria, it should be tested on members of the National Assembly, who are our representatives. Ehe naw 😒
82. Aside from me, who else grew up believing that a rubber band sucked blood? Let’s gather here! 😂
83. After; Girl: I need an iPhone 7 or a Samsung Galaxy S8 Edge, please… Me: It was just, don’t act like you gave me your kidney! Men can be terrible at times. 😒
83. You went online to toast a girl who has 5000 Facebook friends. My brother, what do you want to tell her that she has never heard before? 🤷
84. No one is above mistake, but you see this mistake of fighting in a place where there is no one to separate us? Abeg, I’ll never try it 😂😂😅😅
85. If women decide to stop until the cure for Covid 19 is found, men will find the cure in 7 days 😂😂
86. The lady you don’t like is another man’s fantasy. While you see her as an idiot, another man sees her as a queen. Should I increase the volume? 🙋
87. To prevent the spread of COVID-19, avoid touching M.E.N:
M is for Mouth.
E stands for eye.
N is for nose.
To avoid COVID-19, follow W.O.M.E.N. :
W: wash your hands.
O: observe social distance.
M: Move away from crowded areas.
E: Exercise on a regular basis.
N: No shaking of the hands.
Stay safe by following WOMEN!
88. How do I transfer money from my head to my bank account? Please help a sister. 😭😭😭
89. Important Announcement! Ladies dating Nigerian Federal University lecturers, have been paid for the next two months. You can thank me later 😜
90. Hello, ladies. It’s not about having iPhone or big boobs with Big Ass. Do you still have a womb?
91. As a child, I used to hear Vision 2020, but I had no idea it was the Coronavirus. What a wonderful vision!😑😑
92. I went to see this girl and tried to touch her, but she said, “No, Stop it!” Only to get home and see a text saying, “you give up too easily.” What is this?😂 😭
93. Being dumped by the person you love can make you watch television for 4 hours without turning up the volume because the sound is already in your head. 🤪😂😅🤣😅😅🤪😅😅😅🤪😅😅🤪😅
94. You booked a hotel room for 30k and still gave her 5k. Why not give her the money and do it inside the bush? 🙄🙄🙄
95. Do you think I’ll run after you just because you’re beautiful, with a big ass and bress? You’re absolutely right; I’ll chase you with everything I’ve got. 🤣🤣
96. Dating a girl with a big forehead is important because she can remind you of things you’ve forgotten about for years. 😋😋
97. Only for Naija, we count money after we withdraw it from an ATM because we don’t trust ATMs 😂
98. Only for Naija PHCN dey say:-Win a brand new GENERATOR if you pay your NEPA bill 😂
99. Only for Naija people dey horn for traffic light make e quick change from Red
to Green 😂😂
100. Only for Naija, pharmacies dey sell Coke, Recharge Cards, Chin chin, Puff puff, and beer 😂
101. Only for Naija, you go see one person dey use iPhone 11 and iPhone 13 while him mama dey sell groundnut for Junction 🥺
102. Only for Naija, you go see mad man controlling traffic, and people with sense go obey 😂😂
103. Only for Naija, you go see native doctor dey use laptop. Abi they are consulting the spirits online 😂
104. Only for Naija, you go see as person dey sell book from street to street titled HOW TO MAKE MONEY WITHOUT STRESS. Why Im never make the money sef 🤷😂?
105. My guy carry 2k go boutique go test trouser of 25k, now zip don spoil 😂, He’s still at the shop. He’s been mopping the floor since the morning.
106. Landlord impregnated tenant’s daughter, tenant impregnated Landlord’s wife! Na de matter we dey try settle.😂
107. Maid call Oga ‘naughty boy’ in front of madam; na the matter we try to settle, the gateman still come tell madam, ‘baby calm down.’ Omo na village square we dey right now because the matter don tie wrapper 😂
108. Oga borrow madam ATM card to support him business, side chick carry same ATM card go shopping for madam boutique for afternoon. Madam don seize ATM card dey ask for the owner or else the side chick go enter prison. Na for de matter we dey ooO! 😅
109. Tenant dog no gree make Landlord enter house, rain beat oga Landlord outside. We dey here since dey beg landlord.😅
110. Age 7: I want to be a doctor.
16 years: Look, Mum! all A’s
20 years: Omo medicine hard
35 years: Make some noise for DJ Emeka!!!😂😂😂
111. I feel sorry for women who have small chest. Their hearts are easily broken because they don’t have any airbags to support their emotions. 😂
112. When you helped your crush with her homework and she got zero. 🥺Just forget about explaining, my brother, go your way in peace.😅
113. Is it true that chatting with a fat girl consumes data?🤔
114. To girls who think they are too big to respond to messages, there will come a time when you will be desperate for a husband. Simple “How are you, you’ll answer “YES, I DO.”😂
115. MAD MAN: Doctor, I have a problem; I dream of cows playing football every day.
DOCTOR: Take these tablets at night, please.
MAD MAN: I’ll start tomorrow, today is the finals 😅
116. Slim ladies are beautiful until they get pregnant, they look like a python that swallowed a goat 😂
117. Only in a Nigerian film will you see a cassava plant in an Evil forest. Abeg who plant am?
Abi evil spirit dey plant cassava?🤷😂
118. Today a pastor at the market was preaching about alcohol but collecting the offering in an alomo bitters box.
119. When you go for interview and the interviewer greets you by your Facebook name.
Good morning, “Miss slay queen hottest bae.”
My sister pack your CV and run. No need 😂
120. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend does not respond to your text messages on time just know he is either sleeping or reading the Bible. MEN DON’T CHEAT.🌚
121. Omo using a public toilet without a lock is extreme sports; whenever you hear footsteps, you must either sing, clear your throat, or use your leg to wedge the door shut so that they know you are inside. 😂😂
122. Nothing makes a guy happier than hearing his girlfriend say, “Go and lock the door…” Excess joy 😂
123. Small Apple is now #100. Something serpent gave Eve for free 😅
124. Today’s Update!!!:
You are not useless, no matter how bad you are. You can still be held up as a bad example. 😜
125. If you have money, the way girls will tell you that you’re fine ehh, you will stand if front of the mirror and you will be like “Maybe I should go into modeling.. My brother don’t be deceived, stay where you are. . women to dey lie 😅
126. Girls with small chests should not wear brass. What are you holding? Your heart or your feelings 😒.
127. When I’m bored, I call MTN customer service and ask why my phone isn’t charging. 😜
128. Ladies, being single ends at 25. You can’t be 26 and talking about being single. You’re not single, you are unmarried.
Say it with me: U.N.M.A.R.R.I.E.D. 🏃
129. Once your Igbo boyfriend starts calling you “Mummy or Nnem,” just know you have been promoted from girlfriend to wife.
130. Right now, somewhere, a man is arranging his betslip for 100 naira to win 41 million. Na God go help you 😂
131. Sometimes, this statement “I’m in my house, come and beat me” should be taken seriously.😜
134. Those of you who eat dinner by 6 p.m. and stay comfortable until daybreak, please tell me how you do it ooo. The day I tried it I almost fainted 🥺😂
135. God took a man’s rib to create you, common to give him you dey do shakara, stingy creatures.😒
136. Our neighbor’s pot of soup went missing, and they suspect me. How can I steal soup that is even over salty? 🤦🏽♂️😂😆
137. I told you I don’t have a girlfriend and you asked me to swear, Nkechi what will you gain if I die 😒😂
138. You claim to be a Christian, but you only talk to men in cars. Blessing are you baptized with fuel? 🤦🏽♂️😂😂😂
139. Even if it is too small, learn how to use it to satisfy your woman; I mean your salary 😂
140. When a prostitute is giving a motivational speech, you will hear something like: “I started my business with just one round” wehdone ma 😅
Warri Jokes / Proverbs
You know say Warri no dey carry last, enjoy some of the funniest Warri proverbs that’ll make you smile.
141. Na who never see problem dey use English pray.
142. Book wey no gree enter head go enter exam hall.
143. Goat wey get mind follow lion go catch fish, make e know say weda dem catch fish or not, Lion food don set oh.
144. Who naked no dey chook hand for pocket.
145. Wetin concern dog concern family planning?
146. Na determination okada go use overtake trailer for road.
147. This one good, this one good na so mad man take dey gather plenty load.
148. Pikin wey go strong, go strong…. No be until you name am Samson.
149. Na oversabi do make February no complete.
150. You know who I be? Do you have any idea who I am? .. Naso, hold up take start.
151. Head wey no gree think, go carry load.
152. Hand wey don tey for pocket, know say nothing dey the pocket.
153. Forget trust. If trust dey, water for no dey boil fish.
154. Na wen visitor chop finish for your house, Im remember say rain don fall finish.
155. I hear you no mean say I gree.
156. If lizard like make e do press-up, e no fit get muscle pass crocodile.
157. E de clear pimple, e de clear pimple na, na so blessing take bleach her skin.
158. “Feel at home, feel at home na make visitor spoil remote
159. Escort me, escort me, naso slave trade start.
160. It’s a small world!! E no mean say you fit trek from Naija to London.
161. Christianity is free, but you must buy Bible.
162. Person nor dey use shame chop winch o
163. Make I chop this guy money, Make I chop that guy money, na so, take start.
164. You no need spoon to chop slap.
165. Jollof Rice wey dey for bottom pot today go dey for top of cooler tomorrow. Na grace 👌
166. The patient dog … Nah hunger go kill am.
167. I go do am later na e make fowl no fly like other birds.
168. No food for lazy man, no be for person wey I’m mama get restaurant.
169. Who dey owe landlord no dey fry stew put curry.
170. I am covered by the blood of JESUS, E no mean say make u no go lock door sleep
171. Pastor wey dey pray for mad person no dey close eye.
172. I wan marry, I need pikin, I need money, na e make Church dey full.
173. Na oversabi do make SAN no fit recite National Anthem.
174. I know book, I know book, na im make you say merit instead of advantage.
175. The tin wey make egg strong for pot na I’m make yam soft for the pot.
176. Pikin wey say e mama no go sleep, Im self no go sleep.
177. Sun hot no mean say fowl go Lay boiled egg
178. Monkey smart, monkey smart, nah because tree near tree
179. Na run wey no serious na im woman de hold
180. Na cooperation do make rice full pot.
181. Cockroach wey say him sabi acrobatic dance where cocks dey do general meeting don waka.
182. Say Lion sick no mean say I’m be cat mate.
183. This burial rich, this burial rich, na e make die dey hungry elders
184.”We go make am,” “we go make am,” “na im make village dry, Lagos full.
185. Na recession do make teacher use ruler measure yam
186. Pikin wen wan chop party rice no dey fear dance
187. Say cat sabi swim, no mean say im be catfish.
188. E go beta, e go beta, na Im make camel still dey carry load.
189. I no be your mate. na e make slippers get size
190. Park there, where you dey go, na so road block take turn toll gate.
191. Fish wey scatter for soup still dey the soup.
192. I never ready, I don’t need love, I dey find money, na so sugar daddy and mummy start.
193. Wetin concern bicycle for filling station
194. No matter how you get power reach, you no fit slim fit clothes wey you borrow
195. If you like wear monkey suit, carry am go London; if he see banana, him go disgrace you.
196. Lizard nod no mean say everything dey okay.
197. Poor man nor dey sit for front for village meeting
198. No be who first get belle dey born boy
199. Pikin wen say him mama nor fine dey use style call him papa blind man.
200. Say Native doctor travel go America nor mean say the gods go begin speak English.
Conclusion
What’s better than a good dose of laughter, nothing I guess, what’s funnier than Naija jokes, absolutely nothing. We do know how to play and laugh, hope you enjoyed these jokes?
Bookmark this page, check back later as we will keep updating more jokes for your delight.
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